How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
