i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel great
I just peed on a car
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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