respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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