Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
