There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
