Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
