you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
