Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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