So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
