One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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