i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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