don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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