u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
