I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
