yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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