Buhtt sex?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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