I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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