The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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