Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
