I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
