I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
