Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
