I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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