So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
