and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize