we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize