how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
