i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize