my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize