we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
