you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
