Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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