you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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