omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
my liver is dry heaving
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
