thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
