Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
