oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
