Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i will never coherently bang her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
