On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
