he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
