So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
