a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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