Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
