Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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