You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
