You smell like stripper and shame
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize