I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
