I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
