is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
