When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
