you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
