i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
