You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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