I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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