I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
