Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
