I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
