No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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