His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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