Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
