return my video game
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize