i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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