when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
