White coat. Heels.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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