I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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