I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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