Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
