She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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