Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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