Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Found the puke drawer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
