Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
