It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize