You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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