we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize