Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
