If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
