Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
