I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
