The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
