Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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