First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i dont even know how to be here
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You need a sexual gate keeper
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize